Saturday, 7 October 2017

Conflicting Views on Complementing #Weightloss on #Connect and 10.5 pounds to #WeightlossGoal Over #150poundslost

Even as I wrote the title of this post, I had an involuntary internal cringe.  Did I just write an oxymoronic statement?  Conflicted though I may be to complement the weight loss of others, my title intimates that I seek a positive response. But, what exactly am I talking about?  Even I feel bothered by my own thought processes.  You see, and as indicated in my last few posts, my mindset has been transformed.  I have embraced the concept theoretically and in practice of a Growth Mindset (You can test yours here).  One key tenant that made the most difference in my life was that the success of others is in no way detrimental to my own.  What a relief!  For so long I wanted to celebrate in the success of others, but felt that I was clearly not good enough if it were not I that was the success.  No, this is not the issue at all.  I am so pleased to be able to celebrate the weightloss of others; and especially, when I am able to empathise with the NSV (Non-Scale Victory) posts that resonate so dearly with me: the magical moments when you slip into a dress that is a size smaller, when a well worn wedding ring needs to be resized, when the high boots fit and when the seat on the plane isn't too small...
But, oddly, today as I was viewing and then commenting on posts on Connect (Weight Watchers App, community forum), I struggled and gradually drawn into my own thoughts of self-doubt.  Big question- Who am I now that I am nearing my final, revised I might add, weight goal?   Why am I cheering on women and men that I would consider beautiful at any weight?  Am I a hypocrite?  If I was so very much, and still am, a pro-plus-size/pro-any-size, you are fabulous person, in my core...what am I doing? My comments of Awesome❣  Fabulous loss ❣ seemed to me to negate the person that started this journey; this thought gave way to self-reflection on the typical complements I received when I weighed 308 pounds.  You have such a beautiful face.  Even at your weight, you always dress so well and look after yourself.  My face is pleasant enough and I did look after myself, that is true...and even in the toughest moments, I found strength, through prayer family and friends to love the whole of me.   Besides, real beauty is within, even Alexa our Amazon Echo will tell you this when asked if she thinks you are beautiful! Part of understanding, at 308 pounds, that real beauty is within, but morbid obesity can result in certain illnesses, did lead me to take my health into my own arms. (Type 2 Diabetes runs on both the maternal and paternal sides of my family).  However, I also became more active in pro-size acceptance; because my journey was a long one of over ten years to this point and because acceptance should not be related to size.  So, now as my own size has slowly dwindled from a UK 30 to a UK 12, I feel a little lost. On a few occasions, when I have shown someone my picture at 308 pounds, they can't believe it is me. They say, It doesn't even look like you! You look like a whole different person! I know the comments are well meaning, but I am that person.  Maybe that is why I felt alarmed at negating the individual who is making different choices about their weight on Connect?  Because as I write, I recognise that it is also about me and how part of me feels discounted, discontinued. But, wait-I shouldn't feel this way, as no matter what size I am I need to accept myself. That much I know is a core belief and I also do not need to separate myself into different persons:  me at 308, at 290, at 260, at 240 at 200...  Do you think I am making it more complicated than it is?  Or, is this still a complicated issue for all of us who deal with changing weight?  Or, is it that some of us actually do feel that we are a better version of ourselves when we lose weight?  I suppose that is another blog post conversation. I do know too, that it is important to cheer each other on and how rewarding it is to feel connected with each other as we go for goal.  So,  for now, I will personally change the way I respond on Connect.  I will renegotiate for non-negate.   You are beautiful in both pictures, congratulations on your weight loss❣ Yes, you can see the difference, and beautiful in both❣  For we all are beautiful, every step of the way.

Live a Voluptuous Life❣

Leila 

Sunday, 1 October 2017

The Law of Averages, 2 Pounds Lost This Week, Setting My Final Weight Goal


308 Pounds 
My goal weight 145 Pounds
I have never been one to want to be just average, just an average Josephine, not me.  I have always wanted to be different, not exactly above average, but just not like everyone else.  I have to admit, when I weighed over 300 pounds, I still felt beautiful; sure there were the moments that challenged my own self image and beliefs, the times when being morbidly obese was a barrier and there were bonuses for being just average.  The average one size fits all, the average seat-belt size, the average chair width, the average distance between the table and cushion in the booth seats at a restaurant...the list goes on.  So this week, a crazy busy week (with more to come before a holiday at the end of October), has been all about averages.  As a teacher I am responsible for the progress of my students. I have always pushed them to aim higher than the average of their calculated targets.  I have been teaching now for 22 years and every year there seems to be change, including changes in technology that at times confound me. In fact, I am going to be working on the averages of my current students scores and putting into place clear interventions to support them meeting these, at the very least, and hopefully smashing them.  It is important that I know each of them inside and out to design lessons based on their individual and collective needs.   It got me to think...do I put in all this effort for myself?
On average, it is recommended that we lose one to two pounds a week.    This recommendation is also based on the average weightloss of individuals who lose weight and keep it off for the long term.  I would have to say that for me, when I was in the weightloss phase, I too had an average of one to two pounds per week.  One pound is definitely something to rejoice about!  Admittedly, when I first began losing weight, I was frustrated when my loss slowed down; but then again, when you visualise it, a pound is something to celebrate (new lipstick)!  Within a year at this rate, that is 52 pounds that have a greater chance of never returning from whence they came!  I'd have to agree as I seemed to waver on my way down about every three stones.  I'd get a little stuck, go up a few pounds and down again.  Once I had reached 16 Stone from 22 Stone, I hung out here for a few years before tackling it again.  I'd say on average, I have lost a Stone a year.  I am fine with that.  
So back to this idea of self-intervention.  I had made an original goal of 168 pounds, or 12 Stones.  In all honesty, that was the weight equivalent to my students average target.  It was a comfortable place to aim for and based on my starting point-a nice rounded ten stone loss. I could have hung out there and tried to maintain this weight without creeping back into the 170's. So, I researched the average size, weight and height for women in the UK:  Size 16, 11 Stones (154 lbs.) and 5 ft. 5 inches.  The average for American women: Size 16-18, 165 lbs. (11 stones 11 pounds) and 5 ft. 5 inches tall.  The average model, just for info is: 5 ft. 10 inches and 107 lbs. A lot has changed for us, as women, on average over the last 60 years!  Taking all of this into account, I have readjusted my target with a great focus on my health and how I feel.  I need to approach my final goal with the same level of understanding of myself as I give to my students.  I have also looked at the BMI chart, though one can question its accuracy, and I am now aiming to maintain my weight at 10 Stones 5 pounds or 145 pounds.  My weigh in yesterday put me at 157.5 pounds.  My height will hopefully remain at 5 ft. 7 inches.  I know that we shrink with age, on average a few inches between the ages of 40 to 70, I just need to get into some weight bearing exercises!  As for stating a size, that is a whole other blog post because as you are most assuredly aware-sizes are not averaged, nor consistent across labels. 
I now draw this post to a close.  I have a lot of calculations ahead of me this evening.  I do hope that you know and hold in your heart how above average you are!  Let's face it, nothing about any of us can be easily rounded off to represent a certain middle of the range person. We are all far too unique and far too amazing for that.  What we do have in common is our need to take care of ourselves and be happy and healthy.

Live a Voluptuous Life,
Leila