Friday, 8 July 2016

#latebloomer

Sitting in my dorm room after three full days of training to deliver Mindfulness and I have grown to love this little nook.  I only spent one semester in a dorm when I attended San Francisco State University in the 1980’s and that was shared and without a sink-how ever did I manage?  Probably why I only stayed for one semester.  I did have the only wok-it was electric and every Friday night everyone would bring left over veggies and we would make a community stir fry.  Now just a few days short of my 51st birthday, I can say that I have enjoyed this dormitory experience, but can’t wait to be home tomorrow night.  It does remind me though that anywhere you are, there you are.
 I am happy to be where I am and this was not always the case.  I think a lot of people who have known me for years would be shocked to learn this-I projected onto the world the image I wanted them to see: someone confident, articulate, happy, and together.  I suppose I was some of these things, some of the time-but, never all of them at once.     A part of me wishes that I would have been as happy in myself as I am now whilst I was in University.  Actually I don’t think I have been as comfortable in my own skin as I am today until I turned 50.  But, I know that this is my journey and I am not one for having regrets-I just don’t see the point.  I have always classed myself as a late bloomer and there are so many advantages to this.  Of course, there are challenges and I have been on the receiving end of well-meaning comments that basically meant don’t bothered you are too damn old.  No, no, no, not true in my belief system, you are never too old.  A great book to read if you too find yourself at 50 plus-and want the inspiration to follow any dream is called, DefyingGravity-also a fabulous song in Wicked the musical.
On the subject of inspiration, I am on this course with around twenty other teachers and I have been overwhelmed by their devotion to young people with positive, warm and courageous willingness to face their own psyche within Mindfulness practice-all embracing the process with an openness-a strong silence that speaks volumes about how passionate teachers can be when seeking to develop the whole child-not satisfied with the young people in their care to be successful in their subject, but successful in managing life as a precious gift that at times can be riddled with difficulty.  As I mentioned in one of my last posts-teachers remain with you for your lifetime-and what a huge responsibility it is to make sure that the lasting imprint is positive.

So, there are so many strands to my life-so many areas to blog about-tonight I will be brief-I have a lot to sift through before the final day of training tomorrow.  I wore the colour Wonderland by Urban decay today-it felt like the right colour to wear, great to represent learning new theories, like in a Wonderland where everything is new.  Oh, and last night on a trip to the Spar, I bought a magazine with a free Eyeko Fat Liquid Eyeliner...AMAZING! Where has this pen been all my life!
Tomorrow I go back home and will blog from the comfort of my bedroom-I wonder what will come up for me over the coming weeks-I know diet will be a big one as I have not focused much on that while away-gave myself a bit of a break-but two weeks from today I will be on my way to the USA for a month!  
So, see you tomorrow!

Love on Day 5,

Leila

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